The “I Love Technology” But I’m About to Lose It Post

1. Apps That Could Win an Award for “Most Useless”

So, everywhere I went, from the fanciest cafes to the humble street food joints, everyone had an app. How modern! I thought.But then—surprise, surprise—the apps didn’t actually do what they were supposed to.

Ever tried ordering a simple coffee and had to click through their ads? Or maybe the app decides your “latte” needs oat milk instead? Yeah, that happened. I couldn’t even complete a simple order without the app having an existential crisis. Then I went to the counter with TADA, actual humans behind it, only to be told they can't take orders via the counter. So much for saving time with technology, huh?

So, I strolled into this chill, al fresco-style food joint, ready for a laid-back meal. They handed me a QR code to scan—super convenient, right? Or so I naively believed.

The moment I landed on the order page, bam—I already had eight mystery items in my cart. Impressive. Either I’d developed telepathic ordering skills, or their system had the digital equivalent of a caffeine overdose.

I flagged it to the staff, and they spent a solid five minutes performing some sacred IT ritual to “reset” the system. And guess what? The phantom order was still there. Their grand solution? “Oh, just ignore it. It’s a bug. We’ll know.”

Ah yes, the old trust-the-system-that’s-already-failed-you approach. What could possibly go wrong?

2. The 10-Account Challenge

Okay, here's the fun part: Every app wanted me to sign up. Every. Single. Time. And I'm not talking about “Sign up with Google” or "Sign up with Apple." No, no, no. These apps wanted the full experience. My email? Sure! My phone number? Obviously! My birthday? Um... WHY does a coffee shop need my birthday? Are they planning a surprise party for me when I order my iced latte?

What was this, a loyalty program or an interrogation? I didn’t know if I was ordering coffee or signing up for a new social security number. Seriously, after the 10th app sign-up in three days, I was ready to start a support group for “People Who Are Tired of Creating Accounts for Coffee.”

3. Privacy Policies You Definitely Don’t Read (But Have to Agree To)

And let’s not forget the never-ending privacy policies. Every time I clicked "Sign Up," I had to read through a whole novel about how my data might be used for “improving services” or “targeting ads.” Look, I get it—everyone wants my data. But, can we talk about how I’m just trying to order a coffee here? Not apply for a job at Google. I barely read my terms and conditions for dating apps, let alone for ordering a cappuccino.

4. The "Convenience" of Technology (I Was Kidding)

Here’s the thing: I walked into these places hoping to be greeted by technology that would save me time and make life easier. What I got instead was an obstacle course of bugs, sign-ups, and unnecessary data requests. I just wanted coffee, not a tech headache.

I was order coffee at Bröd & Salt the other day, and suddenly had a new found appreciation of the old-fashioned way: I walked up to the counter, talked to a human, and paid like it was 1995 (ok, not exactly, i tapped my card). Honestly, it was like a breath of fresh air—no bugs, no crash, no emails required. Just... coffee. It was almost magical.

The Moral of the Story

So, to all the businesses out there trying to make your life "easier" with tech: It’s great you’re innovating. Really. But maybe just think about the user experience first. If I need a PhD in app navigation to order my coffee, something’s gone wrong. Maybe keep it simple, yeah?

Also, coffee shop apps? You don’t need my birthdate. I’m just here for caffeine, not a subscription to my personal life. Thanks.

Anyway, that’s my “tech is amazing, but it makes me want to scream” post. Let’s just say, I’ll be going back to the counter for my next coffee. No app required. Haha, thanks tech!